How the Vow is Going to Change my Life

I was raised in a household where peace and non-violence were always talked about. From a very young age, I remember my parents watching videos of Jiddu Krishnamurti, and reading books, like A Course in Miracles. As I grew older, I became aware of the conflict in the world around me, and was saddened by all the violence that seemed to stem from religion. When it was time for college, I was struggling financially, and needed a way to pay for my education. I decided to join the Army National Guard in 1998 – during the Clinton Administration, and while our Nation was at peace, not ever thinking I would have to serve in a war-time situation. Of course, 9-11 shocked us all, and our unit was one of the first to be shipped to Afghanistan. We left in March of 2002, right after the terrible bombing campaign that took so many lives. I was in a constant state of turmoil while I was there. I struggled not only because I have always believed that non-violence is the answer, but also because Afghanistan had been oppressed for so many years. The Taliban had taken its toll on the women and children who were not allowed to receive an education. Years of cruelty and repression could be seen by the women in burkas, and the children, who had no idea what music was – or how to write with a simple pen.

I love my Country – and loved that we were there to build schools, and to help rebuild the nation that our bombs had torn down. However, I couldn’t reconcile my feelings of hope for change, and yet despair for all the violence that was taking place. I read books by the Dalai Lama. I read the Holy Bible several times. I read How to Know God, by Deepak Chopra. All of these books seemed to have the same message: that love and peace are the methods we must use to move forward in the world. While hate, oppression, and violence, simply tear nations and people apart.

When I got back, I became a recruiter for a time, and again, struggled with the same issues. I believe in having a strong military. A strong military can institute a peaceful nation – as the Army National Guard has done on several occasions. The Army gave me a chance to get my college degree – and gave me skills that I would not have learned elsewhere. However, I couldn’t handle sending young children to a war zone that only seemed to be getting worse with time. As the War in Iraq began and continued to tear apart families, I quickly decided recruiting was not for me, and last year, made a decision to leave the Army completely for fear of being sent back to a place where I might have to face combat. I transferred to the Air Force, where they serve as more of a support role, and don’t really actively engage in combat.

One day I was watching an episode on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, and Deepak Chopra was on there talking about The Vow of Non-Violence. I quickly went to the web site and was fascinated by what I read. Over the last year, I have seen how discussions of non-violence can really evoke strong feelings in others. My troops and I have lengthy discussions about war. Some of them agree with me, that peace is the answer - and hatred and violence are simply not justified in anysituation. Others believe that the Afghanistan War was justified, but not the War in Iraq. While some think that both Wars should be fought, and see nothing wrong with trying to institute freedom in another country. I try to spark debates among colleagues, without pressing my values on them. People ask me if I believe in the death penalty – and I answer “no.” People ask “How would you react if someone was killing your friends, or if you were being shot during the War?” I have no answer – I simply cannot imagine such a horrible scenario to be placed in.

The Vow of Non-violence has given me the chance to use this as a method for continuing these discussions. From my friends and family, I have received support and hopeful messages that this can change my life. I have told a few of my troops about the Vow, and am hoping that they will see my point of view, and slowly move towards peace. I have also struggled with how to reconcile my feelings about what this means as a member of the military. I still struggle with the thought that thousands of troops are still facing combat daily. Yet I also realize that I have duty to serve my Country – and will do so for my entire career. The only way I will be able to change the minds of others, is through my thoughts, my words, and finally, my actions. The Vow is designed to institute a peace consciousness. I hope that by agreeing to take this sacred commitment, I will bring about peace in my life – and that I can continue to bring about peace in others.

With Love,

Jackie